Posted by Gabriel (G²) on November 11, 2007


Phillipians 4Exhortations 2I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. 3Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow,[a] help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. 4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

 Paul did NOT warn the Philippians church of doctrinal errors, but he did warn about some relational problems….for these two women had been workers for Christ in the church, possibly among the women meeting for prayer when Paul first preached the Gospel in Philippi (Acts 16:13). Their broken relationships was no small matter, because many had become believers through their efforts.Also, they were apparently leading two opposing factions in the church over the personal conflict……..and Paul was emploring them to be of the same mind, for Spiritual Stability depends on mutual love, harmony, and peacee between believers, and apparently the disunity in the Philippian church was about to destroy the integrity of its testimony. I find that very interesting to see all that was taking place prior to Pauls’ command regar ding gentleness. There may be a connection, I believe……..And, especially regarding conflict/discussing issues, it’d seem like something that was HIGHLY necessary for the situation……….as it is in our times but often forgotten about.Gentleness (refering to contentment with and generosity toward others, as well as to mercy/leniency toward the faults/failures of others, patience in someone who submits to the injustice/mistreatment of others without retaliating) seems to be a lost art when it comes to dealing conflict,……but still We are called to be gentle (reasonable, fair minded, and charitable) to those outside the church as well as within.As my dear friend SoS22 once said,Quote:

I think that it takes incredible strength to be truly gentle, it is one of the qualties I admire most in a person. Scripture tells us in Proverbs in typically flamboyant style that gentleness ‘can break bone’ where power and might have proved useless

Powerful thoughts…… here’s the Scripture in Proverbs:Quote:

Proverbs 25:15Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

          Again, it cannot be stressed enough that IT’S POSSIBLE TO BELIEVE IN JESUS, WORK HARD FOR HIS KINGDOM, & YET HAVE BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS WHO ARE COMMITTED TO THE SAME CAUSE. But there’s NO EXCUSE FOR REMAINING UNRENCONCILED.    And if you or I are facing a conflict that can’t be resolved, we shouldn’t let that tension build into an explosion…..nor should we withdraw/stand idly & wait for the dispute to resolve itself or resort to cruel power plays. Instead, we should seek the help of those known for peacemaking and make it a priority as the Word does. That said,  here are some Scriptures/PRINCIPLES that are beneficial in maintaining THAT……..Quote:

Proverbs 15:1Proverbs 151 A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.

(NOTE: Ever tried to argue in a whisper? It is equally hard to argue with someone who insists on answering gently, but on the other hand, a rising voice and harsh words almost always trigger a angry response that may not’ve been necessary)
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I think that it takes incredible strength to be truly gentle,

It’s much more easier to REACT than to RESPOND to a situation in patience. Other verses that we might learn from:<!–[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]–>

Proverbs 10:19
19 When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise.


Proverbs 11:12
12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor,
but a man of understanding holds his tongue.


Proverbs 12:16
16 A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult.


Proverbs 13:3
3 He who guards his lips guards his life,
but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.


 Proverbs 14:29
29 A patient man has great understanding,
but a quick-tempered man displays folly.


Proverbs 15:18
18 A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension,
but a patient man calms a quarrel


Proverbs 15:23
23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply—
and how good is a timely word!


Proverbs 16:21
21 The wise in heart are called discerning,
and pleasant words promote instruction. [a]

Proverbs 16:23
23 A wise man’s heart guides his mouth,
and his lips promote instruction[/QUOTE]
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Proverbs 17:14
14 Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam;
so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.


Proverbs 17:27-28
27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint,
and a man of understanding is even-tempered.
28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent,
and discerning if he holds his tongue.


Proverbs 22:11
11 He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious
will have the king for his friend.


Proverbs 20:3
3 It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife,
but every fool is quick to quarrel


Proverbs 22:10
10 Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife;
quarrels and insults are ended.


Proverbs 26:21
21 As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire,
so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.


Proverbs 29:8
8 Mockers stir up a city,
but wise men turn away anger.


Proverbs 29:11
11 A fool gives full vent to his anger,
but a wise man keeps himself under control.


Proverbs 30:33
33 For as churning the milk produces butter,
and as twisting the nose produces blood,
so stirring up anger produces strife.

To make another point,Quote:

Proverbs 16:3232 Better a patient man than a warrior,
a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

SELF-CONTROL is SUPERIOR to CONQUEST.Success in buisness, shcool, or home life can be ruined by a person who has lost control of his or her temper…..or with someone who may not be gracious on a particular moment which could be crucial for all of the other moments following after.Sometimes, power/might (be it in the form of possessing much knowledge or something similar…or being forceful/imposing in some way to make a point) may not be able to accomplish a job sufficiently by itself……..and not having that calm reserve may cause us to forfeit what we want the most…..Another proverb to add to that,Quote:

Ecclesiastes 10:44 If a ruler’s anger rises against you,
do not leave your post;
calmness can lay great errors to rest

And for those who are always SHARP/NEEDLESSLY rough in presenting their arguments or usually react with sharp sarcasm/rudeness when it seems their arguement isn’t carefully considered, they may need to rethink their strategyQuote:

Luke 6:31
Do to others as you would have them do to you

     That seems to be a basic principle that many (including myself) often glance over, and yet how powerful it still is when dialouging with others. I know that when I’m interacting with others, I called on by Christ to make sure that what I’m doing unto others is how I would like to be treated when in the same situation.Everyone desires to be respected, and the Bible calls us to do so as well:
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Romans 12:9-11Love 9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.


1 Peter 2:17 17HONOR ALL PEOPLE/Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.    

1 Peter 3:8-9 (New King James Version)

Called to Blessing

8 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted/sympathetic, be courteous/humble;[a] 9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. 

 Regarding I Peter 2:17, “HONOR”, HIGHLY ESTEEM is the idea, and it refers not just to obediant duty but inner respect ……and it would appear disrespectful for another to respond however they wished when interacting with each other rather than reading each other out and seeing what would be respectful/help the other to best recieve whatever information they want to pass along.In that case, ALL that mattered was having things my way and knocking people out of the way who hindered that from happening.The goal in all interactions with another is to be like Jesus….& Jesus was humble (not thinking chiefly of Himself), willing to give up His rights in order to obey God and serve people (Mark 10:45). He never had a mentality/style that came off as if He was lording it over others or lookin g down upon them. Rather, he choose to activately look for ways to serve others in love….and if we say we follow Christ, we must also say we wish to live as He lived: LIVING IN AN ATTITUDE OF HUMILITY.Quote:

Philippians 2:1-7 Philippians 2Imitating Christ’s Humility 1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:6Who, being in very nature[God,did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[
b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.



When we work together, caring for the concerns/problems of others as if they were our own problems, we demonstrate Christ’s example of putting others first.Selfish Ambition (which speaks of pride that prompts people to push for their own way) and conciet (thinking only of what I DESIRE/AM PASSIONATE ABOUT) can ruin fellowship, but genuine humility (the esteeming of others above ourselves) can build it…..and we’re to lay aside all selffishness and treat others with RESPECT and COMMON COURTESY.When it comes to Christian Brethren, Considering other’s interests (such as, for example, whether or not it would bless the other who isn’t used to it) as more important than our own links us with Christ….and in the process, regardless of differing usages of language (whether it be gentleness or sarcasm), we’ll all be on the same page and in UNITY with One Another!Regardless of how valuable/wise the information I’m trying to pass a long, my approach would be anything but wisdom if my speech was not done in a wise/winsome and careful manner……and if the fruit of what we consider to be “WISE” is anything but PEACE, JOY, Righteousness/Edification and various other things which will better equip all of us for service in the KINGDOM, then we may need to pause/reconsider things…..By the way, another interesting verse to consider:<!–[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]–>

James 3:9-18 9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. Two Kinds of Wisdom 13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds don e in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

If the attitude among Christian Brethren doesn’t match the Word, something’s off…..Verses to consider:Quote:

Ephesians 4:2 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.


Colossians 3:12 12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.


1 Peter 4:7-97The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.[/QUOTE]


1 John 4:88Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.




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