Fatherless: Who’s Your Daddy (or more specifically, whose responibility is it to be your daddy?!!)

Posted by Gabriel (G²) on October 12, 2007

This should prove interesting, especially for those of us that are black. This video was posted on another website, but one should be able to find it on YOU TUBE.

As another 5!

The Moynihan Report: 1960’s Black Families in Crisis

Daniel Patrick Moynihan underscores rising rates of single mothers and illegitimacy, divorce and separation, unemployment and welfare dependency among blacks.

Unstable black families threaten the fabric of black society in the U.S., writes Daniel Patrick Moynihan in his famous 1965 report, The Negro Family: the Case for National Action. Moynihan, then assistant Secretary of Labor and later a U. S. senator, underscores rising rates of single mothers and illegitimacy, divorce and separation, unemployment and welfare dependency among blacks.

Men Leaving Families: A growing proportion of black men are leaving their wives, writes Moynihan. Though the percentage of abandoned or divorced wives among whites also increased between 1950 and 1960, it never toped 10% for most age groups.

  • Husbands are absent or divorced in 22.9% of non-white families compared to 7.9% of white families living in urban areas.
  • In northeastern urban areas, 26% of once-married black women are divorced, separated or have absent husbands.

Divorce Rates Rising While the divorce rate for blacks and whites was equal in 1940, by 1964 the non-white divorce rate was 40% higher. As a result, writes Moynihan, very few black children grow up with both parents present.

Moynihan says that the result of these trends is that almost 25% of black families are headed by women, nearly double the rate for white families.

Black Welfare Dependency is Rising
The disintegration of black families is also marked by an increased rate of black welfare dependency, writes Moynihan. He notes that over 50% of black children receive AFDC benefits at some point during their childhood (vs. 8% for white children)

In 1964, 14% of black children and 2% of white children were receiving AFDC assistance. According to government estimates, most of the increase in welfare dependency from 1948-1955 can be attributed to a rise in broken homes. Since the creation of AFDC in 1935, the number of families lacking a father grew from 33% to over 66% in 1964, he adds.

Moynihan notes that after 1961, the number of AFDC cases opened grew even though the non-white male unemployment rate fell.

The greatest challenge to the equal rights movement is the disintegration of black society, due in large part to the disintegration of black families. Moynihan says that a concerted national effort is needed to strengthen the black family so that blacks can take advantage of new opportunities.”

I encourgae everyone to investigate these statistics on the issue of blacks:


Though I understand where Goldberg is coming from, I think that it’s merely another case of treating the “symptoms” but not the “disease”.

As David Prowlison once said, “Diagnosis proceeds Cure”……..& in my humble opinion, the issue of the disentragation of the Black family is more than something which Blacks alone are responsible. Everyone has had a hand in this, paticularly MALES…..and more specifically, THE CHURCH!!!!

Read the WOrd of God & one will quickly discover that both the Hebrew and OT/NT society UNDERSTOOD their roles on the lives of children deprived of male leadership. ANd Scripture is laced with a call to care for those outside the bounds of a “normal family”:

Deuteronomy 10:17-19

17 For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. 18 He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing. 19 And you are to love those who are aliens, for you yourselves were aliens in Egypt.

Deuteronomy 24:17

Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge.

Psalm 10:18
defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.

Psalm 68:5
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

Isaiah 1:17
learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

Isaiah 1:23

Your rulers are rebels, companions of thieves; they all love bribes and chase after gifts. They do not defend the cause of the fatherless; the widow’s case does not come before them.

Jeremiah 5:27-29

27 Like cages full of birds,
their houses are full of deceit;
they have become rich and powerful

28 and have grown fat and sleek.
Their evil deeds have no limit;
they do not plead the case of the fatherless to win it,
they do not defend the rights of the poor.

29 Should I not punish them for this?”
declares the LORD.
“Should I not avenge myself
on such a nation as this?

James 1:27

27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

The issue with the disentigration of the Black family may be a mere symptom of the fact that all too often the modern church/society acts as if the fatherless children don’t exist, choosing to focus our energy on intact family units with one man & woman.

In preparation for an upcoming “Rite of Passage” conference to guide boys into godly manhood, I recently finished reading an EXCELLENT book entitled “Passed through Fire” by ChristianYouth Worker Rick Bundschuh (who happens to be white, lol

He does extensive work with young men of all races…..& HAS had many insightful insights on the issue of training boys to be men that have greatly helped me.

At one point, the author pointedly states, “Among the problems of our modern culture, childen who are fatherless as the result of divorce, casual parterning, or a womans’s single choice may prove to have the greatest negative repercussions of all. WITHOUT THE HELP of fathers, we are raising males who can’t find their way to being men.”

The author of the book described a study done in a nature Journal once showing how young bull elephants raised in a herd lost of all adult male members were easily agitated, became wild/destructive, killing and causing chaos at random. …..which of course wasn’t typical elephant behavior.

Destroying these violent youngsters seemed to be the only option……but then wildlife managers captured them, & shipped them off to a herd with a healthy population of adult males. The results were dramatic, for the young bulls settled down as the older males began to imprint “correct male elephant behavior” into them.

That study was what the author felt to be symbolic of our society as well, for what is true in the wild is also true in civilization….& a boy without the imprint of a good man will join together with other boys and turn toward the brutal, twisted, and desolate

As the author makes clear, “An imprint of a godly man on the heart of a boy forms the contours and diagram of what he needs to become. This by the way explains the reason gangs are so prevelant in urban cultures. The numbers of fatherless boys far exceeds that in the surburbs…..& the pull toward violence/cruelty is amplified in these situations. Repeat teenage pregnancies and unmarried liasons have produced streets filled with young boys desperate for a man’s guidance…..without nature to challenge; with limited places to release energy; without a father, grandfather, or positive male mentor, the boy views the streets as his proving ground….& the wrethced cycle of violence, sexual conquest, abandoment of children, substance abuse, and irresponsibilitiy repeats itself over & over again……& what ha been the norm for fatherless children in the inner city is quickly becoming the norm in the heartland”

Needless to say, I felt that the book was dead on the money, for MEN HELP BOYS TO BECOME MEN……& TOO often those with the privelage of seeing what a healthy family looks like will never take the time to enter into the lives of those who lack it & show male guidance. They simply sit back, look at the problems, & say “Blacks need to deal with it”…..when the reality is that it’s the responsibility of MEN—-REGARDLESS OF COLOR/RACE—to CARE FOR THE FATHERLESS.

Of course, idealy, the person to teach boys to become men are a young man’s own father….& there has been increased awareness in recent years by evangelicals of the NATURAL dynamics BETWEEN a father & a son & various resources/ideas to stregthen things, with some resources like Robert Lewis’s “Raising a Modern-Day Knight”, the Promise Keepers’ Passage program, & James Dobson’s “Bringing Up Boys”.

However, despite what many Christian men are doing to help their own sons, the reality is that doesn’t aid/adress the fact that for a enourmous amount of men, a picture of manhood is absent…..& no one wishes to get involved with it/wish to actually sacrifice by actively demostrating it, whether through mentoring or “big brother sister” programs & other venues.

Many are simply content to call out the problems they see but never go further than that…..

As a youth worker/deacon myself, I’m amazed at the effects that take place when those who know what it means to be men get involved in lives of black males without it. And even if the men weren’t black themselves, it was powerful nonetheless.

I was fortunate enough to have that myself/witness the difference. Growing up as single child, with a mother who was a foreigner & trying to make it through med-school, I was raised predominately by Godly women…..& though the Lord did TOO MANY AMAZING THINGS IN OUR LIVES, it was still different not having any male leadership in my life. When I got that, however, in the form of my step-father & other godly mentors later in life, it was amazing to see how much I developed.

They didn’t have to do so……..& many of them could’ve easily stepped back/watched my situation…enjoying the “positive family structures” they were privelaged to experience while simply saying of mine that it was a “Black Problem” & that we needed to help ourselves. But thank Heavens that they choose to get involved in my life…..despite their own issues or the children/families they were already raising….& realized the importance/duty of the local church/society to provide an imprint of MANHOOD for those in our community who lacked man in their lives.

Without it, I’d probably be apart of the statistics mentioned on Black families.

Sorry for the length of this post, but this is a very emotional subject for me…….but I hope someone feels where I’m trying to come from. The issue here with Blacks isn’t just a Black related problem. Everybody’s GUILTY, IMO.

By the way,

I think the best comment Goldberg said was at the end of the interview, where he made clear what Whites often do with Black Problems. They’ll often keep quiet about things that they wouldn’t let people of the color get away with…..even people in general….when they know that it’s CLEARLY WRONG/In need of Adressing, but when it comes to Blacks, they’ll keep quiet.

As he said, “It’s White Racism/Paternalism”…….& I’m glad he pointed that out. As a Black Hispanic myself, I cannot tell you how often I’ve heard the phrase “Because they’re White, they don’t really know what Black issues are like/cannot speak into your lives”.

To a degree, I agree…..for it’s improper for one to get involved in the issues of another race and speak presumptiously without ever interacting/forming good relationships with people of that culture, understanding the culture they come from, never affirming/approving of the positive/godly characteristics inherent in that ethnicity/culture or not having ANY RESPECT/Empathy for the unique issues they deal with because it’s something they don’t deal with….consequently belittling/minimizing issues.

I used to go to private elementary school that had only black kids when I was younger…..& later in life, left the public school system to experience life at a Christian Highschool:


Seeing that the school was predominately white (& paticularly whites from rich, surburban areas) I was privy to seeing/hearing all of the constant conversations about racial issues like Affirmative action, Welfare, CALLING blacks the “N” word , & a host of other issues. Quite often , those who’d speak would be people never having close connections with the people in those situation & not understanding of the dynamics involved….& far too often speaking from their perspectives only as if that was how the world operated….& if I as a black person would try to adress the issues/inform them of how things were in the black community, the facts would be dismissed. I was extremely sadden for them, seeing that they were adding to the problem…….& seeing that I went to a MULTI-CULTURAL CHURCH, with people of all races/cultures involved & being forced to see issues from all perspectives, & THAT EVEN MY BEST FRIEND WAS WHITE (LOL), I was EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED QUITE OFTEN

However, I was also priveledged to associate in that school with many GODLY WHITE FRIENDS/TEACHERS….WHO TOOK the time to be respectful in not only understan ding the issues/seeing things beyond their privelaged perspectives/situations, but made certain that they adressed them from a Christian Worldview. The same happened with me regarding the issues they dealt with in White culture.

Due to that , we both learned from each other/care more deeply for one another. Moreover, we were more connected/in-tune with the issues plauging our society….& it didn’t matter when something was adressed as out of line with myself or in the Black Community…..

For they were doing it in a godly/respectful fashion, realizing that ISSUES ARE ISSUES, regardless of Race…..& all that matters is whether we have God’s Perspective on the matter. For anything less is futile.

“Wisdom Is Meaningless’

12 I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. 13 I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! 14 I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

15 What is twisted cannot be straightened;
what is lacking cannot be counted.

16 I thought to myself, “Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge.”

17 Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.

18 For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.”

there are two kinds of wisdom highlighted in the book: (1) human knowledge, reasoning, or philosophy, and (2) the wisdom that comes from God. In these verses Solomon is talking about human knowledge……& the consequences that come from it.

For The more we know & understand, the more pain & difficulty you experience. For example, the more you know, the more imperfection you see around you………..

& when human knowledge ignores God, it ONLY HIGHLIGHTS OUR PROBLEMS because it cannot provide answers without God’s eternal perspective and solution……

& most Christians dealing with issues of ANY KIND fall at this point because they decided to investigate the study of it without first having a SOLID view of what the WORD OF GOD has to say on the issue of life.


6 Responses to “Fatherless: Who’s Your Daddy (or more specifically, whose responibility is it to be your daddy?!!)”

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